Real Madrid Signs 7 Year Old

Spanish futbol club Real Madrid has signed 7 year old soccer prodigy(?) Leonel Angel Coira to a contract.  Ridiculous.  A Real Madrid spokesman said there was something about the youngster that really stood out to the team.

“While his teammates were busy horsing around and doing cartwheels, he was busy training.  I mean, he did some cartwheels but not nearly as many.”

“Leo” as the 7 year old is affectionately referred to, hopes to follow in the footsteps of his idol, and namesake, Lionel Messi.  Monetary terms of the deal have not yet been disclosed but a few very interesting clauses have drawn some ire from Coira’s future teammates.  He will apparently require a bathroom buddy any time he leaves the pitch and his roommate will also need to be open to “sleeping with all the lights on.”  Oddly enough, the 7 year old was paired up with veteran Ricardo Carvalho as a roomie.  Carvalho is 33.  On being paired up with the young phenom:

“Well, I guess he has some pretty weird bugaboos.  No horror movies, not too many sweets, diapers?  I don’t know man, how old is he?”

Coira is set to start practicing with the club as early as next month.

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