Raiders Letter To Fans: “We’re Still Not Going To Be Very Good”

Several members of the Oakland Raiders front office wrote an honest, apologetic letter to the passionate fans of the once-proud franchise.  The Raiders have had years of misfortune and flat out uninspired play.  Many pundits, fans, and even small children who don’t follow football have placed the blame on owner Al Davis’ withered shoulders.  While the team lost star tight end Zach Miller and solid wideout/kick returner Johnny Lee Higgins, they still made a lot of moves to bolster their squad.  Despite all the moves made in recent years and the handful of top ten picks they’ve had, the front office decided it was a good idea to write a letter explaining the team’s situation to the fans.

The overall synopsis of the letter was paragraph after paragraph of profuse apologies.  Though it was only released on the internet, readers could still see the tear stains on the pages.  After the apologizing and pleading, the suits went on to address the upcoming tackle football season. Here’s an excerpt:

“We’re very excited about the end of the lockout and especially excited about the Raiders 2011 season.  We made a lot of moves during the off season and added some strong veterans to help the team.  That being said, we’re not confident, we’re still not going to be very good.”

Fans are outraged at the letter but the front office is very pleased, choosing to address the teams failures before the season even starts.  One exec. says it’s basically an elaborate “You can’t be mad, we warned you” strategy.  So, with another football season beginning, it appears the Raiders will again be a middle of the pack team at best and remain the butt of many sports-related jokes.

Sources have yet to confirm whether or not Al Davis is still alive or is indeed, as many have feared, a savvy, flesh-hungry zombie.

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2 responses to “Raiders Letter To Fans: “We’re Still Not Going To Be Very Good”

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