Shark Week…?

Editor’s Note* This post is not about sports…but read it anyway.

So I’m down on the beautiful island of Nantucket for the week enjoying the beach, the sun, and trying really hard to find one attractive girl that’s under the age of 50 to ogle.  It’s pretty great down here but sitting on the beach today I get to thinking about all the great white sightings that have been reported off the coast of Cape Cod this summer when I see a seal.  Yup, a seal.  Any amateur sharkologist can tell you that seals are the primary source of food for great whites (aside from human meat of course).  Next, we find out they’ve been finding the bodies of dead seals in the area.  This is serious people.  After little to no research and investigation I have come to a startling conclusion…Shark Week is a myth!

That’s right.  Those scary, athletic motherfuckers don’t take a day off.  They’re on their grind 24/7 and they’re out for blood.  It’s a commonly known fact that sharks hunt for sport and we are their favorite target.  Next time you’re riding a jet ski all care free and whistling dixie out in the ocean take a look behind you.  You’ll no doubt find a devious shark tracking your every move.  Watching, waiting.  Sure you’re friends will tell you it could have been a tarpon and the Coast Guard will point out it was actually the wake of your jet ski but deep down inside you’ll know…you’ll know.  Alls I’m sayin is, sharks don’t just start attacking for a week and call it a year.  Watch your back America, and your front.

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