The NFL has granted the Indianapolis Colts what league officials are calling a “free pass” for the first week of the 2011 football season. Peyton Manning has not practiced or done anything other than physical therapy since undergoing neck surgery in May. This lack of preparation, physically and mentally, threatens to keep Manning out of at least the first game his team plays this season. Colts’ coach Jim Caldwell has not specified when Manning will even return to practice, let alone be able to take the field in a competitive setting, leading commissioner Roger Goodell to give the league’s favorite player and favorite team a break.
“We all love Peyton. Heck, we all love the Colts. That’s why we’ve made up so many rules to help them win games. If Pey Pey isn’t ready for the first game, I’ll use my authority to cancel that game and put it down in the books as a win for Indy. Gosh, Peyton is so funny isn’t he?”
Manning also has a streak of 227 consecutive starts in jeopardy. However, if he is not able to start, Goodell has promised to alter the record books to ensure that Peyton’s streak is not affected. While the rest of the NFL has called a collective “shenanigans” on the whole situation, Goodell has threatened that anyone who speaks out against the Colts or his rulings will be “Persecuted to the full extent of the law…probably banned from sports and maybe even society.”
It appears that Peyton and his Colts will indeed make the playoffs again this season, even if they don’t win a single game.