A 5.9 magnitude earthquake rocked the east coast of the United States today, shocking many residents who had never experienced the phenomenon. Early reports indicate that the quake was felt from Virginia to as far north as Concord, NH. However, despite the incredible amount of chairs and lawn ornaments that were felled, President Obama went through the most trying ordeal.
While vacationing on Martha’s Vineyard, Obama was finishing up a brilliant round of golf which his security team described as “the game of his life.” On the 17th green with a great chance to break 100 for the first time in his “career”, Obama lined up a pretty routine 3 foot putt for par. That’s when disaster struck. The earthquake hit with such force witnesses on the course swear they saw at least one pine cone drop from the trees. Obama did not flinch however, instead choosing to admirably take his shot which he skulled off the green into a not-so-nearby pond. His round was ruined and mother nature was to blame. We caught up with one of his secret service guards in the pro shop:
“Honestly we didn’t feel anything at all. I was actually taking a little catnap in the cart when I heard his ball land in the drink. We didn’t hear about the quake until well after it had happened but if Mr. President says he felt it…well, he felt it.”
The guard, who chose to remain anonymous, became visibly nervous when pressed about whether or not he believed the President really felt the tremors. We were unable to keep up as he took off running back onto the course.
The President still had a chance to break a hundred on the 18th hole with a birdie, but he collapsed, shooting an ugly 34 on the par 3.