Dear Mr. Fantasy

So…I’m gonna make this short and sweet to avoid any redundancy in what Bro has already done with his analysis.  Team Funk is a blue collar, lunchpail, hard working, hard-nosed, no-nonense team.  We’re not flashy but we get the job done, here’s my breakdown.


I think there are going to be a lot of solid fantasy options at QB this season, so I chose to wait a couple rounds before picking my gunslinger.  I ended up going with Houston’s Matt Schaub as my starter and I’m not sure whether I love or hate this pick.  Schaub puts up video game numbers one week and then the next week goes out and lays an egg by throwing 3 or 4 INT’s.  I’m thinking he’ll be doing more of the former this season if Arian Foster continues to emerge as one of the best backs in the league.  And of course Schaub is throwing to the best overall receiver in the world…Andre Johnson.  Plus, I just don’t see the AFC South being as strong as it has been in years past.  For my backup I stole Joe Flacco relatively late in the draft.  Flacco has yet to reach the potential a lot of people think he has and this is the year he should be able to do so.  The Ravens scooped up the extremely underrated Lee Evans who I see becoming Flacco’s new best friend and with Ray Rice taking little dump down passes to the house every week Flacco is a solid number 2.

Running Back

Anyone that knows fantasy football knows that the running back is the breadwinner of every team.  I grabbed LeSean McCoy with my first round pick and I think this year will be his coming out party.  The Eagles look like a really balanced team and McCoy is poised to breakout and finally get the credit he deserves as a stud running back.  That being said, I still hate the Eagles…I will root only for LeSean and no one else on that team.  My number two back is the steadfast Steven Jackson.  Also, am I the only one who thinks that commercial is hilarious?  As long as Sam Bradford continues to develop, Jackson finally has a somewhat reliable quarterback to take some of the pressure off of his strong, reassuring shoulders.  On my bench I’m rocking Ryan Matthews from San Diego and Willis “knees don’t bend like that” McGahee.  Matthews could be a huge steal for me, he’s a starter on an extremely talented offense that no one really talks about.  McGahee on the other hand is in the twilight of his career but he’s still got a little left in the tank so we’ll see how that works out for me.

Wide Receiver

Hmm…I can’t really think of anything funny or relevant to say about the receiver position.  Blah blah blah Michael Irvin cocaine.  Nailed it.  So I took Dwanye Bowe to start off my receiving corps. and I think he’s gonna kill it this season.  He was so underrated going into everybody’s fantasy draft after being a stud last year I almost felt guilty drafting him as late as I did.  Next up I’ve got Santonio Holmes.  I hated this pick.  I fucking hate the Jets and everyone involved in that organization.  I cannot even begin to fathom ever rooting for a Jet to do well.  But, Holmes was the best available and this is a money league…I had to do it…I’m not exactly wiping my ass with benjamins over here.  My third starter is Sydney Rice, no matter who Seattle starts at QB, they’re going to suck.  Still, Rice is a star and he should get me some solid points.  On my bench I have A.J. Green and Roy Williams.  I forgot I was picking and Green was autodrafted to me so I don’t know, that was a gaffe on my part.  Williams…I don’t like him…at all…just didn’t have a lot of choices left.  Also, I have Steve Smith from the Eagles…he’s coming off surgery so I don’t know what to say about that.

Tight End

I’m so amped about my tight ends…and the ones on my fantasy team aren’t bad either.  HEYOOO.  But really, I’m stacked at this position.  I’m boasting Vernon Davis as my 1a. starter and Rob Gronkowski as my 1b.  Davis was a monster last year and I just don’t see the Cyborg slowing down this season.  Gronk is just an animal.  I love him…I know I’m a Pats fan but the guy is just huge.  Everything I’ve heard from my sources(twitter) out of training camp is that he has just been clowning on people…I can’t wait.  On my bench I’ve got Tony Gonzalez…old faithful.

Defense/Special Teams

I waited too long on this pick and ended up with the Patriots and the Texans.  Both mediocre defenses going into the season.  I’m banking on a lot of sacks from either team and also punt returns.  I doubt we’ll see more than one or two kickoff return TD’s this year but I think Julian Edelman is gonna surprise some people with his punt return prowess.  This is a boring part of fantasy…so here’s something to spice it up.


Sigh.  Kickers suck.  Except for Stephen Gostkowski.  Stevie G.  The G Spot.  I love him and I think he was a great pick if you don’t agree…that’s okay…I still love you.

Stay tuned for each of our views on the week 1 SuperBowl coming up…I’ll try to get one up before the game tomorrow night.  Love you.


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